Everything About Fitness Motivation in One Reddit Comment

When do we reach the last straw and start taking fitness seriously?

Many of us mess around for years before doubling down and committing to an exercise habit. A recent thread on Reddit had incredible stories of what made people take the final step. The most common reasons were:

• They’re getting over a breakup
• They’re sick of how their body looks
• They’re scared that their unhealthy lifestyle will catch up to them

Of course there are also other reasons, but these are three of the biggest and most common.

One comment in the thread particularly stood out to me because it’s packed with fitness motivation insight. The poster was talking about what it feels like to be too skinny and struggle to build muscle, but the ideas apply to everyone (and go beyond advice like “Just Do It”).

Men, women, overweight, underweight, and totally normal people have all experienced the disappointment of negative comments and the rewards of compliments. We have all been encouraged at some times and discouraged at others.

Here’s the comment (reproduced with permission):

And here’s why it’s awesome.

Finding Your “Reason Why”

Take a look at the early sections. “I felt like I was perpetually a kid” and “Every time I get under the bar, it’s a big double-fisted “fuck you” to anyone who ever made fun of me for being skinny.”

I talk a lot about finding reasons why fitness is important to you, personally. If you understand exactly what you stand to gain from success, you are more likely to be successful.

This is a great example of that. The poster wants to be taken seriously and not be treated like a kid, and that reason motivates him to keep pushing.

You don’t need to curse at people while you work out, but it is definitely worth taking the time to appreciate how important fitness is to your life.

Practicing Positive Self-talk

Pay attention to your self-talk. Take a look at this:

“I think no matter how big I get I’ll always feel like a 120lb runt somewhere deep down inside.”

Working out can improve your body image and self confidence, but it doesn’t do that on its own.

If you don’t practice creating a positive body image, it won’t matter how good you look – you’ll never feel comfortable with yourself.

Notice I say “practice.” That’s because it actually is possible to practice positive self-talk. A simple activity (borrowed from cognitive behavioral therapy) is to write down your negative thoughts. Capture them, in writing, outside your head so that they are clearly defined. Then tear them apart with simple logic.

For example: “I’m fat and unlovable, and nobody will ever love me.”

That’s a real thought that comes from a real person. It seems pretty devastating, but breaking it down with logic makes it obvious how wrong (and dangerous) thoughts like these are.

Here’s one way you could battle this thought:

• You’re overweight, and not happy about it. It may not be a best-case scenario, but that’s something that you can work on. Dwelling on it won’t change anything – action will.
• Your weight (whether you’re overweight or very skinny like the original poster) doesn’t determine who you are. You have hobbies, interests, thoughts, and dreams that make you unique and interesting. Some of those things are probably pretty lovable.
• There are people that care about you and there are people that have cared about you in the past. So there will probably be more people who care about you in the future.

If you ignore your negative self-talk, you’ll wind up hating your body no matter how fit you get.

I once heard someone say “I think you should always kind of hate your body. It pushes you to get better.”

I couldn’t disagree more. You can be dissatisfied and start pushing yourself for that reason, but finding other motivation is a must in the long run. It doesn’t matter if other people love your body if you hate yourself.

Overcoming Negativity and Excuses

“I don’t think I could ever really be big.”

Again, that’s a real belief I’ve heard many times. You can see it in the Reddit comment too: “My dad’s skinny, so I’ll be skinny,” along with comments from friends and even the poster’s mom.

The belief that you can’t change is a dangerous one, and is related to a well-known idea in psychology: learned helplessness.

If you want to change, chances are high that you’ve tried before. Lifestyle changes are difficult, so chances are also high that you’ve failed before.

It takes an incredible amount of mental fortitude to consistently pull yourself back from failure and make another attempt. And the more you fail, the more likely you are to think that success is impossible.

That belief, that success is impossible, is learned helplessness.

Of course, you can overcome barriers. As the Reddit poster realized, gains began once more serious training and nutrition was put into place. Genetics, upbringing, and other factors play a role, but you can ultimately overcome them.

How can you fight learned helplessness?

Because learned helplessness is the belief that success is impossible, all you have to do is prove to yourself that success is possible after all.

Fortunately, this gets easier as you start to experience success. As you gain muscle, lose fat, or both, you gain confidence and tend to push yourself towards even more success.

When you’re getting started, I suggest reading stories of people that have had success despite similar limitations. The internet is full of people who have lost weight, gained muscle, or even regained the ability to walk after traumatic injury.

Read their stories, not to compare their success to yours, but because they show that consistency and the right program can get results even when you’re at a disadvantage.

Experiencing Rewards

Once you’re in the habit, the rewards of exercise are incredible. You don’t need to seek out a “gnarly pump” like this Reddit poster, but it’s true that the feeling of a good workout is something that you can’t get anywhere else. It’s also true that it feels incredible when you start getting compliments.

There’s a lot to take away from the comment’s description of rewards. One of the most important is to fully appreciate rewards as they happen.

It’s easily to wave off gym compliments, or start thinking about other responsibilities right after a workout. Instead, pause to appreciate them. Too many people minimize their successes, dismissing them as not real or too small to matter.

When people compliment you for working out, they probably mean it and you probably have made real progress. When you walk out of the gym on a sunny day, take a deep breath and congratulate yourself on a workout completed.

Motivation in One Comment

Reasons why, self-talk, learned helplessness, and rewards are all packed into that one Reddit comment.

Fast forward a few years. If you had to write a comment like that one, what would it say?